hope

"Some people build up walls, not to keep people out but to see who cares enough to knock them down." 

I'm losing hope in everything
family, relationship and studies and most of all in myself
Sometimes, I'm held back by my own extreme negative thinking
i wish everything will end now , maybe i should fall really sick and time out for a period of time
Not doing anything good and nth is going on smoothly for me during the past 6 mths of 2012
I know the world doesn't goes the way i want it to be
i know i should be strong enough to withstand and overcome all these shit
But sadly, I'm not strong enough anymore, on the verge of giving up every single thing now
though i do not have a choice but to force myself to get over it and bluff myself that everything will be fine soon?
Reality is cruel, and my life is tough,i have to live with it but I'm really tired of it.
i have to work hard in order to make a diff , but some things are just not within my control
i sucks at certain thing and no matter how hard i tried, the outcome is still the same.
I hate how weak, how negative I'm getting but i just can't help it..
Maybe I'm really better off alone.